Eye Sea Sea Bee Are Sea Eye

Introduction

Everyone has heard and/or used phonetic alphabets even if you haven’t been in the Services.  You know, it’s the word that sounds like the letter you’re trying to say, e.g., A-Alpha, B-Bravo, C-Charlie, etc.  

Pendant alert – according to Wikipedia (and we all know that an encyclopedia that anyone can contribute to is of the highest possible quality) it turns out that these alphabets aren’t phonetic but instead are acrophonic, which makes them the very opposite of phonetic.  But I digress yet again.  

While I personally plan on adopting the Royal Navy’s standard of 1917 so no-one ever figures out what I’m up to, thus ensuring that my evil plans for world domination (which, admittedly, are progressing somewhat behind my original schedule as I am in control of precisely nothing – I do however own a cat, or perhaps he owns me) can continue unabated.

A language for Essbase geeks

But perhaps I’m wrong in adopting the standard of Jack Tar in the Great War.  Essbase geeks do their own thing, in their own way.  C’mon, we’re unique.  And awesome.  Aren’t we?  Please say yes.

And if we’re awesome, we surely need our own acrophonetic alphabet.  Guess what?  We have one, courtesy of the ASO wizard, Dino, aka Dan Pressman.

Without further ado, here is his mad genius.

Letter	Pronunciation	Example
A	R	How are you?
C	Q	Pool cue
D	W	Double U
E	I	Eye
F	Weigh	“There’s no F’in way”
G	N	Gnat
H	Ah	Hour
I	E	Iwo Jima
J	H	Jose
K	N	Know
L	Y	Llama
M	N	Mnemonic
O	W	One
P	N	Pneumonia (or Swimming – the silent P)
Q	Key	Quay
S	C	Sea
T	Z	Tse-Tse
W	Y	Why
Y	U	You

Why Tse-Tse There’s No F’in Way

One man’s madness is another man’s genius.  I think it’s absolutely brilliant.  Your reaction may be “Whisky Tango Foxtrot.”